good cop bad cop

I noticed a hilarious incident yesterday. I was driving through commercial street and suddenly just as I was passing by the Police Station I saw a guy running out with his pants on fire!! Full zoom only. He passed from right in front of my car. For a fraction of a second, I thought I will just open my car door and that guy would have rammed right into it! And after two minutes came a constable looking for him. He came outside the station door, saw left and right, smiled and then went back in. It was as if he had asked him to run. Imagine!!

Cut to another incident, I saw a crowd at the head of my lane. Saw a brand new Bajaj Pulsar and a few young fellows standing there. Then I saw two traffic inspectors. These guys were having an altercation. The cops apparently chased these college kids because they were not wearing helmet and then fined them 2000 bucks! 

So now my point is, when it suits them they chase. When it doesn't suit them, they smile and let go. The constable at the station knew he wasn't going to make any money out of that local goon. Moreover, he was completely unfit to chase him down. His belly would have revolted!! I think its time VLCC designs a package specially designed for City Cops!

August Slip!

I guess August was a dull month... Thats why i gave it a slip ;)

But September looks promising. At least the start of the month is nice. I have so many things to talk about... But i will start with one of my favourite topic - Women drivers. 

In one of my previous posts I had mentioned what a delight it is to watch women driving. Today I almost laughed my heart out while I was driving to office. A brand new Maruti swift was dancing away on the road. I could vaguely see that the driver had the seatbelt on. Zipping through the traffic as if its pants were on fire. And the most funny thing about it was its rear wiper was on, just wiping the dust off the boot I guess... By now I had put my bets. I was so sure this had to be a women. And voila! when I overtook the car, I noticed it a women driving the car, with its wipers on, seatbelt on (who wears seatbelt in B'lore?) and the tentative husband on the side. oh what a sight!

Well another thing that I wanted to speak about how uninformed our kids are these days. The country is facing major troubles in two states - J&K and Bihar. I guess most of my readers would know that. However, I was at a friends place last week and he had his nephew and his friends over for a birthday party. This guy must be 18 or something. After the cake was cut, the discussions were the usual. Music videos, cars, games etc. I just happened to ask one of them if they have heard anything on how devastated the populace of Bihar is and he pleaded ignorance. Then I realised none, absolutely none of his friends knew about it. Its sad, you know. I am appalled at this trend - these guys know their cars and funky games. They just don't know what's going on elsewhere in their country. Thats because they don't care. I guess the more urban a society, the more it is cut off from the rest of the country. 

I see our country's future in these guys and it doesn't look too bright!      

I hear there have been 8 blasts in Bangalore. 3 people dead (as of now). God bless their souls. 

I like what a friend said - the ninth one did not go off. I asked him where was it planted. What he mentioned, I cant write here but it roughly translates to "Behind deve gowda!" Lol. way to go Tarun :) 

Papa I bought one too!

Yup, thats what adolescents will soon tell their parents. Papa, I bought one too. With our politico on sale I guess anyone can buy one. Move over fancy cars, posh bungalows, expensive watches and feature rich high-on-snob-value cell phones. The latest fad would soon be owning ones own neta!! 

I can see a time coming when the kids of the neo-rich would cry to own their personalized netas. Papa, I want the petroleum minister. My car guzzles too much fuel, I want the fuel cost reduced. Son of gangster would say "papa I want the convict MP. I have the other gang getting on my nerves. I want them eliminated." Like the recent land prices, the price of neta then will be decided by what he can deliver, how much tenure he has left in the parliament, will he win again or not and so on and so forth! We will have the value-for-money netas and we will have the high-on-snob-value netas. Because we would own the lawmakers, we would then become lawmakers too. The conversations that go "Hey, thats a cool phone. when did you buy that?" or "Hey thats a sexy car, where did you get it supped up?" would then change to "hey, you won that politician!  Man I like the way he throws the bench in the parliament" or "I also want that one, he is too good with making shitty policies" 

I had spoken about Politicians being bought and sold some time back too. But this is a completely new perspective. Futuristic, if I may add. Cynic, yes. Impossible, no. So which one are you going to buy??

Enough reality. Really!

I have my TV channels formatted well. First there is music, then movies and then the regular programmes like star plus etc and finally the news channels. However, these days I don't know what to watch. Right from music channels to the general entertainment ones, every one has got nothing but reality shows on! 

MTV has this splitsville & ibibo superstar, V has get gorgeous and that apart every entertainment channel has some reality show or the other. I am fed up of them. Not one of them has anything worth watching. Some of them in fact are so irritating, you feel like plucking your hair out. I was flicking channels when I saw rakhi sawant interviewing Aamir khan. Believe me, I have never seen a worse chat show. She was not even able to properly read out from the flash cards. As it is, Aamir is not a personality who can carry a chat show on his shoulder. The two probably had the worst chemistry ever on silver screen! 

The best is the singing competitions. Toddlers, adolescents, adolescent folk, toddler folk, pop, all and sundry. Wonder why they left out the oldies. Here is another idea! Is someone listening. 

And then there are the dance shows. Boogie Woogie is giving Mahabharat a run for its money in terms of the duration. I think Javed Jafferey will get old and then eventually die as judge on the sets. Then there are the new ones. Celebrity dance shows, celebrity couples, husband & wives,  celebrity boys vs the girls. Don't they get bored? And then the anchors and the judges. If you want to laugh your heart out, just see what these anchors and the judges wear. Its hilarious!! Sit in front of your TV screen around 9 and start flicking channels. You will know what I mean. Now I know why they say 'Reality Bites'. It really does!

I got blessed!

I got blessed today. In fact, if I consider my car an extension of myself, then I get blessed almost everyday, multiple times in multiple colors with different levels of impact. Get the drift? 

One of those flying creatures dropped its POOP right in the middle of my head. I almost felt it had chosen the location, trying to mock at me - at the farthest point of the top of your head, where you have lesser hair because of my hair parting. And judging by the amount of the poop,  I think the poor creature had really stuffed itself well in the last meal! This when I was on my way to a client visit. Messy, smelly and hassled. It couldn't have been worse. And this, they say is being blessed!

 

Why do we do this to ourselves? I don't see anything remotely blessed about this situation. 

 The worse sufferer is my car. Where I park it, there is an electrical wire running on top. Plus there is a tree whose branches seem to reach out to wherever I park. So invariably, every morning I find my car blessed at multiple locations in different colors. I sometimes wish I had bought a white car instead of a black one. At least my blessings will not be for public viewing!! 

But worry not, with the number of poopy doos on my car, it almost looks white only. 

Hmmmm... did I hear someone say "No big deal." Well in that case, may god.. err.. no. may the bird bless you too :)

Totally Hooked!

The other day I came across a very interesting brand name. Before I tell you, I would like you to do a small exercise. 

If I were to ask you what's the whackiest name that you can suggest to me for a real estate agent's company, what would that be? And if I allow a sexual innuendo, would that change what you just thought? Well, how about L.J.Hooker? Ya, thats the name that I noticed a real estate firm has! I wonder what went into their head. In a way it makes perfect sense though. After all, thats their business. To hook one person up with another for a deal. Or may be they named it because the guy who started it was called that. But if thats the argument, then I would be compelled to discuss the family tree of that person and what went into his forefathers head when they decided on this surname!

Anyways, now that I have told you about the whackiest real estate agent name, tell me, if these guys had a baseline, what would that be? For the uninitiated, 'baseline' or brand line is that short line which brands often write along with their brand name. Like Nike is Just do it, or RBK is I am what I am and so on and so forth. It basically defines either their business or its philosophy. Haan so coming back to the baseline for L.J.Hooker, can you think of an appropriate baseline? 

Well, if you can't, those guys certainly did. Their baseline is "Nobody does it better". You bet! And no, I am not joking here. I would love to know more of these fabulous names and baselines if you have come across one! But I am sure, nobody's would be better!!